Some things happen for a reason. I don't think it can happen too many times that when I mean well, the other party thinks I'm trying to sabotage her or hope she doesn't do well. And what's my agenda for pretending to be happy for you about your new found job? Cmon don't be naive, as if you are going to be the one who's paying for the stuff you bring home for me? And you don't think those didn't need money, you make it sound as though I would be troubling you very often? How often would I be asking anyway, maybe once, twice? And seriously I've my ways when it comes to getting stuff from overseas. About my friend who dare not leave because she can't get the same paying job? I didn't lie about that, I asked again and she said it's true. And all the more I didn't say that to put you down. You wanted to know my opinions, I told you I didn't agree about you leaving school since it's only one month to graduation and I told you what my friend shared to sound you out, is that so bad? Or is it your pride and over-sensitivity that cannot take it? And haven't I said that it's your decision, you go and pursue what you want. I don't know how that equates to looking down on you. I think you really think too much into it.

You are your biggest enemy and there is so much for you to prove to yourself that you can do better than others, you can have better, you want better. You think I don't understand? I understand! I've been there, done that.

And when have I left you in the lurch when you need the help? Have I complained to others about you? It's all in your head because you think I'm reluctant based on one issue. And I will say it again, I don't like others forcing on me to help when I did not agree to. I did not agree readily and told her I will help if I can. Honesty is not hypocritical. How is my lifestyle very different from yours? I made myself sound pitiful? That was nothing but the truth, why don't you ask Juve where the money came from and from what means I got it? Fact is, you just cannot handle the truth when I tell you as such. If you're negative, then everything I say you perceive it to be negative what. I'm upfront and I speak my mind when I'm not happy about something you did. I tell you what I think, and not keep it in my heart about what I think about you. But you don't like that. You feel I talk shit about you, and put you down.

It's you who is petty and can't let go. You want to keep harping on my past and judge me, then you will never see anything good in what I do. Don't tell me that's not true, you know what I'm talking about. You already look at me through tinted glasses and this is not the first time you make remarks of who you think I am. Nobody thinks they meant harm in what they say, myself included. Don't you think some of the things you do are extreme and beyond reason? You just want to do things your way and you don't spare a thought for others when you do it. And don't cast the first stone at me when I know that you'd would have done exactly the same on FB, especially after what you smsed me. Isn't that what you wanted anyway?

It saddens me to know that you feel I've not been sincere or that I've an agenda for things that I've done for you. When I ran all the way to Katong to pick you up immediately after your calls, when I got others to come with me to pack up your stuff, how when you called over the years and tell me that you loved me and am glad I'm always around for you (were you lying when you told me all those?), when I offered to put you up without qualms, when I supported you through your bad times at work and relationships, when I never said no to meeting your needs - tell me what is my agenda for doing all that? Who doesn't say things when they are angry?

Ok, you want nothing to do with me now, it's your call, you made the decision. I merely went along with what you want. But I won't say I'll prove to you wrong and make you swallow back everything you said like you did. Okay you prove what you want to prove, it will not make me upset or angry that you are doing well, and I know I'd be proud and happy, there's no reason for me to feel otherwise. I'm not spiteful to the people I love. Your trashing things out is not resolving the issue. It's pulling the plug. I'm not stopping you neither do I want to do anything about it as I don't feel this is my issue. I'm not saying it's your issue either but I'm just going to take it as a petty squabble between sisters. When the time comes and you're ready to talk, my door is always open. And whether you like it or not, or feel that I'm pretending, I stand by what I say. Your walking out doesn't mean I have to do the same.

I will not shut the door.